Amanda Anderson seen talking to the boys in blue at Edale Hen Harrier Day.
A couple of Amanda’s most famous quotes;
- ‘If we let the hen harrier in, we will soon have nothing else.‘
- ‘From the clip, it is very difficult to make out any detail at all, either of a person or a decoy. The identity of any person allegedly filmed is unknown, as is the location. No crime has been committed as far as we can see.’
My entry:
‘Cuff me now officer, I’ve been a very naughty girl‘
My favourites of your entries (to be updated):
Stewart Abbott – ‘I had 2 ice creams, one in each hand, 99’s. That Mark Avery chap stole them so I’m told. But of course I didn’t see anything myself, my head was in the sand you see!‘
Henry Hen Harrier – ‘I’d like to report a loss of credibility, officer. I’ve lost this much in just a few short months‘
@northantsbirder – ‘No! No! It wasn’t us, It was those bloody Bird activists. They even put tags on them so they can kill them at night #NoMoorMyths‘
Phil Walton – ‘And then, this ruddy great Hen Harrier tried to hug me!!!‘
Richard Ebbs – ‘Honest Officer, I was just brood meddling and there they were. Gone!‘
Phil Aylen – ‘Lapwings, Officer. There were 800 pairs here just a moment ago, and now they’re missing. I didn’t actually see them myself, but Beefy said they were here…‘
Ernest Moss – ‘Yeah but no but yeah but no but…, I soooo can’t believe Mark Avery said that, and that you let him keep pickin on them poor gamekeepers, and as for that Chris Packham just shut up! They ain’t never not even dun nuffin’ or nuffin’! And don’t go givin’ me evils!‘
Nick Bee – ‘Amanda: “You see this lovely hen harrier chick in my arms Officer, how could we possibly hurt one of these adorable birds?”
Officer: ” It seems to have mysteriously disappeared Amanda…” ‘
Alan – ‘I swear, officer, there were dozens of stone curlew here, just a minute ago, big fat ones like this.’
@PeterWalkden 1973 – ‘And here officers, is one of the many hen harriers we have allowed to thrive on our grouse moors. What d’you mean imaginary?‘
Sandra Padfield – ‘Look! My hands are perfectly clean. Not a speck of contamination, even by association!‘
John Cantelo – ‘But why can’t you arrest them? I’ve told you that they all eco-zealots and bird activists, isn’t that enough?‘
Coop – ‘Can you help, officer? Our poodle’s missing.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that, madam. Where did you lose him?’
‘We last saw him at the Birdfair. He answers to the name Philip.’
[registration_form]
“I’d like to report a loss of credibility, officer. I’ve lost this much in just a few short months”
“What is wrong with you? Does the MA need to send the Force a bigger cheque? Is that what it is?”
I had 2 ice creams, one in each hand, 99’s. That Mark Avery chap stole them so I’m told. But of course I didn’t see anything myself, my head was in the sand you see!
You get the van, I’ll get the dogs. We’ll have these oiks rounded up and back where they belong in no time.
“No, you’ve got it all wrong, Officer. We’re not killing hen harriers. What happens is, we let the harriers on to our moors but they scoff so many red grouse that their stomachs are out here, they can’t take off, and so they collapse and sink in to the peat, never to be seen again”.
I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Every time, its a big boy, he does it and then runs away!
There’s two of them, one is tall with improbable hair and is a lot older than he looks. The other one is older, a bit stout and looks quite jolly, but watch out! He’s the brains behind it all………..
All the perfumes of Arabia
“If I give you a wad of cash this big will you turn a blind eye”
Meanwhile is the bloke on the left placing a microphone closer to where he thinks she’s talking out of
And then, this ruddy great Hen Harrier tried to hug me!!!
I’ve lost my guide-dog officer.
They tell me your Chief Constable shoots here…
There’ll be no charges ma’am.
……and when it starts to rain I go back into my little house…..
Aside, I still find it astonishing they have the audacity to turn up at ‘our’ events but won’t talk at them when invited to, but I suppose when faced with facts and robust but polite questions about their ‘evidence’ the spin fizzles out?
“I tell you, Avery put a lure down and that bloke from BASC identified it as a Victreebel. He definitely said it wasn’t a bird of prey so I killed it in my gym.”
*apologies to any Pokemon Go players
The chap on the right is saying to Amanda: “I’m scratching mine, you’re talking out of yours”
“Oh come on, who doesn’t have a momentary lapse of concentration and believe they’re back in 1904, setting pole traps out on the moor? It happens to everyone, right?”
‘They must be on to something about lead shot game’ reflected PC Smith, ‘This must be the fifth time today that this lady has given me the same sanctimonious lecture on the need for balance, one more time and we’ll have think about escorting the poor dear home’.
Honest Officer, I was just brood meddling and there they were. Gone!
“Oh, you’re policemen! I thought you were the Fire Brigade, here to put my pants out!”
After a busy day taking some great pictures of the eco-zealots basking in the sun, camera man John was now looking forward to giving the lady from the Moorland Association a very warm handshake.
“OK, the next one’s the same era as Guy’s ‘Rigsby’.
‘Jus’ like that!’
…No?
Tall guy, wore a fez.
…No?”
“Lapwings, Officer. There were 800 pairs here just a moment ago, and now they’re missing. I didn’t actually see them myself, but Beefy said they were here…”
“Go on… please. I love watching that YouTube video of the cop.
Come on, with me now…
‘Shake it off, shake it off…’”
I blame those Mithering Anti’s ….. its all their fault, Honest!
Officer: “Why are you here Maa’m, are you an #ecozealot ?”
Pink lady: “No No, let me give you a clue Officer – a starter for ten !, the reason I am here (it has 3 words) is “Ban Driven Grouse”
Officer: Oh ! now I understand you’re a Conservationist ! “Carry on Maa’m”
“Yeah but no but yeah but no but…, I soooo can’t believe Mark Avery said that, and that you let him keep pickin on them poor gamekeepers, and as for that Chris Packham just shut up! They ain’t never not even dun nuffin’ or nuffin’!
And don’t go givin’ me evils!”
We don’t need vicarious liability or licensing, they won’t work and we sort things out ourselves …. just keep on giving us £56 a hectare though.
Innit?!
You’ll never guess who I had in the back of the cab the other day, that Phillip Merricks. Said he had a plan to save the hen harrier. Smashin’ fella.
Amanda: “You see this lovely hen harrier chick in my arms Officer, how could we possibly hurt one of these adorable birds?”
Officer: ” It seems to have mysteriously disappeared Amanda…”
…….and as for those Golden Eagles, you know there’s a monster in the loch near there don’t you?
“You must have seen one. Big grey bird. Hundreds of them round here… well, dozens… well, at least three…”
I swear, officer, there were dozens of stone curlew here, just a minute ago, big fat ones like this.
Shoot them, who told you that? Nooo, we hug harriers, hug them I tell you. Like this.
Look! My hands are perfectly clean. Not a speck of contamination, even by association!
So I was wearing my inflatable elephant costume… then pop….
First we ad ta Hug a Hoody; then we ad ta Hug a Husky; now we ave ta Hug a Hen Harrier: I mean, Governor, soon we’ll ‘av nothin left to vilify, deny or blast out tha sky.
I find pink makes me blend in better when out retrieving hen harrier carcasses on my local blood-drenched moor, Sir.
Hey guys I think I just had a honey buzzard up with those buzzards – can I get a shot with your gun… sorry I mean camera? Obviously.
Amanda – I love hen harriers so much I want to rip them from their nests and throw them into a Hawk and Owl Trust cage.
Just another swift roundup, I’ll do a bit more of an analysis of the week tomorrow eve;
The day ended on: 118,815
The day’s signatures: 150
Ribble Valley are pretty much in a league of their own this week coming tops again. Two or three more days like this and they’ll be in the top 10 constituencies, though the next constituency up, Sheffield Hallam, also did well today.
Jim – thanks for this and all the others. Looks like you were going to bed (I assume) when I was getting up (judging by when this comment was posted).
…. so you’re saying Schrodingers principle doesn’t just apply to cats?
For the caption competition how about…
“..and one of those bloody Hen Harriers was stuffed so full of Grouse it’s belly was this big!!”
” ‘Pit’? No, I said, just a hole this big, bit of peat on top, stamp it down, no-one will ever find it.”
‘ Look officer, I saw the evidence with my own eyes, ‘what do you mean its just vanished into thin air’.
It just fell out of the sky, honest, officer
“Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under’t.”
“If it were done, when tis done, then ’twere done quickly” ….
That’s right officer. The eco-zealots kill all the raptors. But they’re just pawns in the game. They don’t have minds of their own. They’re brainwashed by the Evil Truth Denier and the Self Confessed Nutjob. We need vicarious liability.
But why can’t you arrest them? I’ve told you that they all eco-zealots and bird activists, isn’t that enough?
Is Amanda denoting the size of ‘Beefy’ Botham’s ego?
What do you mean, you can’t just send them all to the colonies any more?
‘Can you help, officer? Our poodle’s missing.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that, madam. Where did you lose him?’
‘We last saw him at the Birdfair. He answers to the name Philip.’
“Well Officers, I was just about to have a pot-shot at this nasty big black crow, when this guy says he thinks it was one of those Hen Harrier things. I mean, that’s awful – well I didn’t know there were any around here, but anyway it’s so very hard to tell since everything on the moor gets so black and dirty from all the burning and black peaty drainage ditches they dig nowadays”.
“Here’s one I heard down the pub the other night … it’s a scream, you’ll love it …. so there’s this bird of prey, right … it’s been legally protected for more than 60 years, the government’s own scientists say there should be up to 300 pairs nesting in England … you’ll never guess how many pairs nested this year … go on, you’ll never guess … that’s right THREE!!! … hahahaha!!! … er, not funny? … ok I’ll get me coat…”