Have you heard the one about…?

Have you heard the one about the three conservationists in the station waiting room?

This, I am assured, is a true story which played out in the distant north of England early on Saturday morning. 

Man1: Are you going to London?
Man2: (with 2 excited children): Yes, I work for the RSPB
Man1: ah, I work for the wildlife trust. I like your costumes! Mine’s in this bag for later.
Man3, in a Natural England jacket,  enters, with partner & child
Man2: hi, are you going to London too?
Man3: No, they are, but I’m knackered. Frankly, a trip to London is the last thing I need.

A feeling of despondency descends and they then wait for the train in silence. 


10 Replies to “Have you heard the one about…?”

  1. And the point is what? That NGO staff care for wildlife more than NE staff or NE staff work harder than NGO staff? Or the NE person was just knackered?

  2. Just a guess – who knows? But perhaps if you are actually an employee – an agent – of the statutory body for nature – the agency that ultimately should be in a position of greatest power to deliver – but find the rug shredded beneath you politically – or even maybe not even that but just because of the 20% cost cuts (still political but from a different angle – though to the same ends) it’s just too de-moralising… hence despondency all round… everyone else probably understands equally… they’d like to work together but it’s just not on at present – until and unless G/mt is in favour…

  3. NE’s funding is now down to almost half of what it was when it was formed in 2006. It is being destroyed by government.

    1. Greenfly – it is. Why don’t we hear more about that from NE Board members? They seem to acquiesce. Never heard that Teresa Dent complaining about the cuts have we…? Or did I miss that?

  4. Perhaps we could ask Andy Clements? Anyway I thought it was a good variant on an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman (but which is which?).

  5. Greenfly, in my opinion it’s not the number of staff that is the issue, it comes down to having the correct policies in place, staff that have delegation to deliver them and sufficient budget that can deliver.
    Organisations such as NE need to be leaders but also need to work in partnership with a whole range of interested parties, some will be like minded bodies others may not be.

  6. NE should be shut down. It’s not fit for purpose. The man at the station was probably knackered having to field the contempt the majority of us hold for that scandalous organisation which endorses badger culling, brood meddling and god knows what else.

  7. Half the staff are DEFRA any way not Natural England. They were joined some time ago to cover Stewardship applications. So may be this was a former DEFRA man. I know the one putting out licenses to kill Buzzards is a DEFRA man. How many this year? Not heard a peep! Can’t change their spots you know.

  8. Good point about asking Andy Clements – Mark do you think you could ask him to do a guest blog on the role of Natural England in the next few years?

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