The rise of Newt-Kip


Nigel Farrage (or Smooth Newt-Kip as he is known to his follower) will be supping an extra pint of Old Peculiar after Newt-Kip’s astounding poll success. Instead of controlling Ramsey council and having no MPs Newt-Kip now controls Ramsey council and has no MPs.

But you can’t get away from the fact that the coalition ‘partners’ both took one hell of a beating.  The Conservatives will be fearing that they will end up at the next election as numerous as bluebirds really are over the White Cliffs of Dover.  Lib Dems will be feeling they have been hammered – and yellowhammers have declined widely in agricultural areas and are never seen in towns.

Labour did OK, and, like red kites feeding on a road-killed pheasant, they have picked over the bones of Tory demise and made a killing.  But like the red kite, they haven’t actually killed very much – they are just carrion eaters benefitting from others’ misfortune.

Seriously for a moment, the Green Party gained a few council seats but achieved nothing resembling a breakthrough – they are still waiting for the lights to turn green and it looks like it may be a very long wait.

But Newt-Kip is on the Great Crest of a wave at the moment.  Personally, I think it is the fault of all those immigrants coming over here and voting for the foreigner-loving Newt-Kip.  We should pack them off back home so that we Brits can vote again for the greenest government ever.

Do have a look at UKIP’s policies on food, farming and the countryside and keeping the lights on.



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14 Replies to “The rise of Newt-Kip”

  1. Allow county referendums to reverse the hunting ban at the local level - You might have well said - Allow country people to vote to kill birds of prey!!

  2. Hope Labour continue to do OK then. Ha ha. Pretending everything is fine and Dandy when it clearly is not would suit us Tories. By the way Labour had a minuscule fraction of the impact on the white cliffs of Dover that they were expecting, because the Tories are doing a great job there.

  3. In 1997 I sat up all night gleefully to watch Portaloo's discomfiture - even in the certain knowledge of the void behind Blur. I'm getting a sense of deja vu.

    We get to choose between the tyranny and stupidity of the right, and the tyranny and stupidity of the left. If we don't like tyranny, I'm sure Farrago's our man. He once had a job in a glass booth at Blackpool Pleasure Beach.

  4. Well what's new the 3 main parties tell lies and have no policies so Ukip has at least got 50% of policies I could go along with,suspect now they are progressing so far anyway they will get more voters and better candidates.It is way past the time these 3 so called main party's had their ideas woken up.they get in power then go back on promises and do not care about general public mostly just after as much money as they can get from doing as little as possible then fiddling more money into the bargain.Of course there are a few genuine politicians but they are rare cases.

  5. How do you on one hand support research on GM food, give consumers the choice of choosing GM or non-GM (the same consumers who were saying they mave have been mis-sold "interest" only loans!!??) then on the other hand oppose the production of GM foods? To me in my thick skull the supporting of research, labelling/allowing GM foods is giving a hand up to the GM industry.
    However one thing I've enjoyed thanks to UKIP is the hysteria and condescending attitude of the media, to me it seems the media are more upset then DC and NC are..maybe DC and NC are better at hiding it, but seriously I think UKIP don't pose any real strenghts, how many MP's are they likely able to fund (actually where is there funding coming from?) and put up at the next election? Not many is my guess.

    1. I have juggled John Smith's Smooth with as inebriated as a newt but that's as far as I got so I went and picked the first of the rhubarb which we had for us tea and jolly good it was too.

  6. Thanks filbert.
    I don't think there is an explanation to be fair.
    Other than perhaps newt sounds a bit like "u"?
    Does Farage look like a newt? I can't see it.
    He does like a pint I guess. And so do newts? ("pissed as a newt")
    Is he smooth? Well ... I guess more so than palmate or great crested.


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