British values in Defra

Sajid Javid is considering introducing the need for public office-holders to swear an oath of allegiance to British values.

This blog has come across a draft of a version which might be used in Defra, indeed, some say it has been in use for quite a while:

I promise on my honour to do my best to keep the Secretary of State out of trouble. I will take my briefing from the the Countryside Alliance and the NFU as they are our mates and real country people who vote for this government. I will maintain a pretence of caring about science whilst ignoring it completely and embrace our post-truth, post-fact policies however disastrous they prove to be.  I will be shameless in promoting economic activity above any other elements of our remit. I’ll dib¹, dib², dib³, I’ll dob¹, dob², dob³.




Dib¹ – do in badgers

Dib²  – do in bees

Dib³ – do in buzzards

Dob¹ – dump on biodiversity

Dob² – dump on biologists

Dob³ – dump on badgers  – yes we can’t do too much of this!



8 Replies to “British values in Defra”

  1. “Mr Javid also wants all migrants to swear an oath of allegiance, not just those seeking UK citizenship, he told The Sunday Times.”

    I wonder how Mr Javid and his fellow ministers would feel if, say, a British oil-man working in the Gulf, was obliged to swear an oath of allegiance to Saudi Arabia or even if a British retiree living the dream in a Tuscan villa was required to swear an oath of allegiance to Italy?

    1. Indeed, the most British thing some could do when faced with a demand for such an oath would be to refuse to bloody well take it and tell the demander to stick it up his….jumper.

  2. “British Values” involve

    Abusing children
    Abusing “johnny foreigner”
    Abusing women
    Abusing “the lower orders”

    Why exclude wildlife, the natural environment or biologists for that matter?

    Rank hypocrisy

  3. It turns out they’ve been selling cluster munitions to the Saudi’s, against a treaty signed up to. How can these people expect anyone to swear to “British values” when even the lowest of the low, would raise their eyebrows at the behaviour of this despicable government. It really takes the biscuit.

  4. I personally think there is something fundamentally un-British about loyalty oaths. That might just be me though.

  5. “The oath could include phrases such as….. ‘a belief in equality, democracy, and the democratic process'” – what a joke! A quick re-run through the lamentable “debate” on driven grouse shooting shows how this current shower of horrors view democratic processes. Nice link Filbert by the way.

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