Return of Mr White…

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Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the grouse moors…the return of Mr White and Reservoir Cats.

Mr White retired from writing about 4 years ago, only to be tempted out of retirement to write the first Guest Blog on this site, but then, to all of our regret, he simply faded away.

Gone were the digs at completely fictional birders, at completely real conservation organisations, at the shooting community, at farmers – the bloodbath was at an end.

Had Mr White been contract-killed by a disgruntled target (so many to choose from… the police were baffled), maybe he had been locked up himself for some crime or to protect the public, had he fled the country to do a spot of quiet birding from a Trappist monastery? Will we ever know?

Do we really care as long as he is back? No we don’t!

Only a subject as sexy, as important, as ‘I got the T-shirt’, as ‘it’s all the fault of them toffs’, could surely have lured back one of the UK’s top satirical writers [hang on, aren’t we going a bit over the top here? Ed] to dip his pen in the acidic blood of a murdered Hen Harrier and write as follows…

 

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4 Replies to “Return of Mr White…”

  1. Thanks for sharing Mark, truly hilarious - and some of the remaining archive is just as good (e.g. "sparrowhawks to blame for absolutely everything"). Is this Mr White anything to do with the Daily Mash? The character Tom Logan appears there frequently, though usually as a call centre or office worker from Stevenage rather than a disgruntled birder. Or are you not at liberty to say?

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    1. MK - I know something about Mr White but not the details of what you ask. And I am sworn to secrecy (but I keep being asked if it's me and the answer is 'no!'. I rather wish it were.).

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      1. You did pretty well with your "I blame the Environment Agency" piece back in the winter - had me chuckling for days.

        Ex-hurricane Bertha seems to have arrived early, I blame the...

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        1. MK - I blame the Moorland Association - they've always been full of wind. Looking out of breath these days though...

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